Episode 78

LINKS IN EPISODE:

BUY THE 80/80 MARRIAGE: A New Model For A Happier, Stronger Relationship

Dr. Nate Klemp WEBSITE

EMAIL Kimberly To Work Together: kimberly@themidlife.co

Hello friends and welcome to The Midlife. My guest today is Dr. Nate Klemp, author of The 80/80 Marriage.

Look, it’s no secret that long-term marriages can be, well, challenging. After 15, 20, 25 years together, things can feel stale. Was that an understatement? So many of the women I speak to are downright disillusioned and resentful and those feelings contribute to this midlife malaise.

The thing I hate seeing the most is women giving up on their marriages, believing it’s the relationship that is the sole source of their discontent. Here’s the flat out truth. Providing you’re not married to an addict or an abuser or a person with untreated mental illness, I fully believe your marriage is not only salvageable, but it can be the most fulfilling relationship of  your lifetime. Yeah, even if you didn’t exactly marry your soul mate.

And that it’s quite possible that your relationship isn’t the source of the problem but that the call is coming from inside the house. Don’t blame the relationship until you have your shit together.

Look, I’m not suggesting your spouse is an angel. But, you may have created that monster with patterns you contributed to.

This is a two part process. Get yourself happy. Figure out what is going to bring you joy and fulfillment. Then turn your attention to remaking your relationship. I believe you are fully in control of changing the dynamic of your marriage. 

Dr. Nate Klemp shares that opinion. So when he reached out to be a guest on The Midlife and I read his book, I thought his marriage advice was valuable and important and you would enjoy hearing from him. Here’s my chat with Nate Klemp.

Interview

If you’re skeptical, I get it. But hear me out. What if this works? What if you could create a relationship with your spouse that is loving, supportive, fun, rewarding and yes sexy? Would you be willing to try? What’s the worst thing that can happen? If things remain as they are, then maybe you do need to consider an exit strategy. But wouldn’t you feel better about leaving if you knew that you had tried absolutely everything. And truly, I don’t mean just a half-assed try. I mean giving yourself over completely to the process.

Need a gameplan? Here’s what that looks like. 

First, create an individual life full of purposefulness for yourself. How? Well I have a few ideas. You can work through my program Midlife Re•Imagined, Design Your Next Best Chapter at your own pace. You can sign up on the website. Or you can work with me one on one directly. If you want to talk about what that looks like, email me at Kimberly@themidlfe.co

Next, turn your attention to your marriage. You can check out my free workshop Midlife Marriage: Let’s Get Real also on my website. And you can grab Dr. Nate Klemp’s book, The 80/80 Marriage for additional actionable exercises to give your long-term marriage a fighting chance.